Consequences
by iluvbaodur
Summary: When a young fallen Jedi sees the chance to redeem herself she takes it, but will her past end up destroying her future?
1. Chapter 1 Remincising

_So it had begun..._

_The jedi, the soldiers, gathered together to rid the galaxy of the cursed mandalorians..._

_"And an untried apprentice.." thought Ellsia as she stood with the masses. _

_She felt so small amongst these men and women willing to fight for the galaxy, yet she was only one of the few jedi that had come... _

_"To follow Revan."_

_It had all seemed so much simpler back at the conclave as Revan preached about the importance of taking action, so much easier. par i **"Is that cowerdice?"** whispered a small voice within her._

_"No," she said firmly, "I am sure of my convictions, the mandalorians must be stopped."_

_**but what will be the price?** she added silently as she looked around. It was naive to think that no one would die. For the countless thousands who lived, how many more would die to protect them?_

_**"Doubting yourself again?"** hissed the voice, **"Is this the way of a jedi? what would Revan think?"** _

_"Are you alright?"par The voice startled her and she whipped around, her hand on her lightsaber. A young iridonian held up his hands to show he meant no harm and smiled slightly._

_"Uh- sorry about that," she muttered, "You startled me."par His smile widened, _

_"That's ok, you just seemed a bit distracted, unsure."_

_"Err-I was just thinking."_

_He cocked an eyebrow but his smile stayed,_

_"I'm Bao-Dur, pleased to meet you..?"_

_He held out a hand for her to shake, _

_"Ellsia," she replied taking it, _

_"Ellsia Trilaut."_

She opened her eyes and sat up, there was no masses of people, no Bao-Dur...

It had been a dream, the same one she had been having for the past ten years, ever since the war had ended. It seemed no matter how she tried to forget, the past would not let her go.

And isn't that why she had come here? to forget?

No matter how many games of Pazaak she played or jugs of Juma she drank, it always caught up with her in her dreams. She stood up and pulled her long brown hair back into a severe ponytail, she looked at herself in the mirror through a liquor induced haze and did not like what she saw. A thin, pale young woman with long dark hair stood before her, she had the haunted look of someone who had seen too much death and suffering. Her face and neck were covered in bruises she could not remember receiving, only her eyes had never changed, one blue, one green and both filled with sorrow.

She looked at herself in disgust, what had she become? this was not the way of the jedi...

She shook her head as if to loosen the thoughts, she was now no longer a jedi, she had fallen to far.

She had given up that calling when-

"No!"

There it was, her past creeping up on her again. She felt the subtle pull of the force at the edge of her senses, willing her to use it that she may grow stronger.

Ellsia ignored it and looked around her, it was time to leave this place, time to return to the planet she had once called home...Telos.


	2. Chapter 2 Revelations

_The general stood before them, she seemed so calm and collected as she barked out orders. Bao-Dur stood beside Ellsia as the soldiers and jedi began to take action, he had just finished repairing a droid and the young jedi had watched, fascinated at his meticulous work._

_"You treat the droid as you would a patient," she said as he closed the droids processor._

_"A droid's circuitry is just as intricate as the body and therefore needs to be shown the same amount of care and attention." he replied and smiled._

_In the months since the war had begun the two had become firm friends, though Ellsia knew it was against the code. But when you are forced to spend so much time with someone, you can't help but get to know them. They were heading for Dxun now, in the hopes of flushing out a group of Mandalorians that had retreated there. The jedi had heard that a far off place called Malachor V would be the final frontier, how was she to know that would not be for another four years?_

_She looked at her lightsaber, it's blue crystal (the sign of a Jedi Guardian) sat brightly within, glowing faintly._

_Doubts once again circled around her mind, she was after all, only an apprentice. Revan had said that didn't matter,_

_"In the eyes of the people you help, you are a jedi. You would not be here if you weren't ready."_

_These words strengthened her, though it troubled her how much she had to keep referring to them._

_"You have that look again," Bao-Dur's voice broke through her thoughts, "What are you thinking aout this time?"_

_"Home," which, technically, was the truth._

_"Me too."_

_A look she had never seen before passed briefly over the iridonian's face before returning to normal. He pointed out the window of the ship, "It's Dxun." As they approached the jungle moon, Ellsia's heart began to beat rapidly and her hand went instinctively to her lightsaber. Bao-Dur placed a hand on her shoulder, _

_"We will make it through this, you will see."_

Ellsia woke to the sound of voices, she was on a passenger ship heading for Telos and the voices were outside her door.

"Have you heard? Peragus has been destroyed! Telos' only fuel supplier was blown up, and by a republic ship no less!"

She jolted up so quickly that her headhit the cot above her. She activated the door and looked for the source of the voices but they had moved on. It couldn't be true, Peragus was Telos' lifeblood! Now she knew why she had come back, she would not let Telos be lost again.

As soon as they docked she headed to the nearest Catina she could find in search of news, the whispers were there too, everyone was in an uproar.

Many were saying Telos was doomed.

"Do they know who it was?" she asked the bith bartender,

"I heard they had a couple of people in custody while they conducted an investigation."

"Do you know where they are being held?"

"That'd be the TSF station, but good luck getting in there."

Her expression was grim as she approached the station, a young woman in uniform stooped her, "I'm sorry miss but you can't go in there."

Ellsia raised her hand, "I can go in."

The woman's face changed, "Err, you can go in."

Ellsia felt a little guilty but she found every now and then that a little persuasion was necessary, it was the only one of her powers that she dared use.

She had gotten no further then the reception desk when a familiar face came into view, the general...Caitlyn Ackard.

She stopped in her tracks and gaped, it had been five years since she had seen her and she had not changed at all, the same could not be said for Ellsia. The general was accompanied by a young man and an old woman. Ellsia shook her head, what was _she_ doing here? last she heard she had been exiled. Quickly she stepped back and pretended to be interested in a holovid that was playing. She listened to the conversation between the general/ex-jedi and the receptionist droid and found that she had been on Peragus before it was destroyed.

"This requires further investigation" she muttered and followed them out.


	3. Chapter 3 Resoultions

She followed them for about four hours before she was noticed, or so she thought, it was finally back at the cantina that she was confronted by the ex jedi.

"Why are you following us?" she asked, her hand ready on her blaster.

Ellsia raised an eyebrow, "Have I changed that much that you don't recognise me General Ackard? or is it that you choose not to remember?"

Caitlyn looked at her suspiciously, "Should I remember you?"

A fair question, Ellsia had not stood out all that much during the war but as she was constantly around the woman...

"I see that in your travels you have chosen to forget as well, a wise choice."

The young man that was with Caitlyn was starting to get impatient,

"Look, are you going to answer the question or not because we're kinda in a hurry."

Ellsia looked at him cooly, "My name is Ellsia if you must know," she turned back to Caitlyn,

"And I served with you during the war." Caitlyn's eyes flickered,

"That still doesn't explain why you were following us," butted in the young man.

"Atton, let me handle this," murmered Caitlyn but looked at Ellsia expectantly.

"I was following you because I heard that you were the cause of the death of Peragus...the death of Telos."

"Hey lady, Telos was already a dead, you can't bring the dead back to life."

"Atton!"

Caitlyn glared at him and Ellsia chose to ignore him, "This is my home," she said through gritted teeth, "And I will not see it be lost again!"

Caitlyn's eyes softened, "Jedi don't have home's Ellsia."

Atton choked on the Juma he had been drinking and looked at Ellsia surprised, "_You_, are a _jedi_?"

It was true she didn't look much the part with her unkempt appearance but then again, she wasn't one.

"I am no longer a jedi," she said to him and looked Caitlyn straight in the eyes,

"And neither are you."

Caitlyn sat her down and explained all that had happened at Peragus, how the sith had come looking for her and that everyone had been killed by a homocidal droid.

"We are trying to remedy what we have done," she said, "Because there is no doubt that we were part of the reason for the planets destruction, but to find an alternate fuel source we need to find our ship first."

She explained that the Ithorians had offered to help and had a shuttle ready for them to take to the planets surface.

"The Ebon Hawk has not left the atmosphere as far as we know so we need to go and find it before we do anything else."

The old woman in Caitlyn's company, Kreia as she had been introduced, had said nothing throughout the whole encounter, it unnerved Ellsia as she knew she was being watched.

"Well, if that's the case i'm coming with you."

"What!-"

Atton began to protest but Caitlyn silenced him with a look, Ellsia smiled remembering how that same look had silenced many others.

"I want to help you find another fuel source for Telos, I am still an apt fighter, even without my saber."

"If that is what you wish then you may come."

Atton was glowering at her, it seemed he did not like this plan.

"The Ithorians said we could use the shuttle when we are ready and now seems as good a time as any."


	4. Chapter 4 Returning

She sat looking out the shuttle window, remembering what she was not supposed to remember. There was a sound and she turned to see the old woman standing in the door way.

"Why is it that you have come?" she asked it as if she already knew the answer,

"I told you, I want to save my home."

"Jedi do not have homes,"

"Yeah, and like I said, I'm not a Jedi." She was starting to get annoyed, what did the old bag want?

"You fear your past, yet you chase it as you follow the exile." Ellsia stiffened, "I know your mind _jedi_ and I know what you run from."

Ellsia did not look at her, she was too afraid of what she would see, instead she gazed out the window until she heard Kreia leave.

Suddenly the ship rocked, she fell off her chair then ran to the cockpit,

"What the frack was that?" she asked as an exasperated Atton tried to keep the ship under control, "It looks like we've been hit by some AD towers!"

"AD towers?" Caitlyn was confused,

"What would a bunch of scientists need Air Defence towers for?"

"Maybe to keep out unwanted guests," replied Ellsia, "This is Czerka we're talking about after all."

"Everyone hang onto something, looks like we're going to have a rough landing!"

Just as Atton said this Ellsia was thrown sideways into the door, the air knocked out of her, the ship span around her and it was all she could do to keep from throwing up. She crawled on her hands and knees through the door towards the back of the shuttle but was once again thrown into a wall, she felt something in her shoulder give way and she whimpered in shock as she felt it dislocate. She tried to stand but collapsed and closed her eyes, it felt like an age before the ship landed creating a crater in the ground and jolting them about once more. Her consciousness was slipping away...was that a voice saying her name?...

_"Captain Trilaut," the voice snapped her out of her thinking, it was only Bao-Dur, he smiled and winked at her, "Congratulations on your promotion Ell, no one deserves it more."_

_They were approaching the end of a campaign, the mandalorians had been driven back beyond the Outer Rim but were still holding a couple of small planets. Ellsia's superior, Captain Agast had been killed only days before and she had replaced him, taking over his duties and small company._

_"Thank you Bao-Dur but I don't think there is really much to celebrate at the moment."_

_She sighed, she was sick of war, sick of fighting...sick of death._

_At night she had dreams she was suffocating, blood caked her hands and filth clogged her pores, she was drowning.The Iridonian frowned slightly, his remote hovered about their heads beeping and whistling softly._

_She did not like to think of it but she had come to depend on her friend, he was always there with a kind word, a smile, an encouraging nod. She did not feel like the leader she was supposed to be._

_Someone burst into her tent, a young jedi by the name of Arun, he was panting and looked extremely worried._

_"Captain, I think you should come quick!"_

_The friends looked at each other startled before following him out, Basilisks were dropping from the sky. "Sith's blood!" she cried in frustration, "Those damn Mandalorians, don't they ever let up?" People were looking to her for direction and she began to panic.She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "There is no emotion..."_

_Reciting the jedi code in her head calmed her and her eyes snapped open, she was ready for this._

An agonising pain woke her and she couldn't help a little scream as she came too, her left shoulder was numb and her face was wet, she must have been crying while she was unconscious. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth,

"Hold still, let me help you." The voice calmed her a little, her body went rigid as the person helping her forced her shoulder back into place.

Her face drained of colour but she managed to keep back the scream that was threatening to engulf her.

"Will she be alright?" It was Caitlyn, "She was bumped around a bit more then the rest of us."

The young woman just lay there breathing deeply, she was no longer in the ship as she felt grass beneath her and the sun on her face.

"She has been through worse General."

_That voice!_

Slowly she opened her eyes and sat up it took all of her strength just to look up, sure enough he was standing there, not three feet from her.

"Bao-Dur?"

"Hello Ell, it's been a while."


	5. Chapter 5 Recognition

_How long had it been since she'd seen anyone? three? four days? well anyone **alive**. The planet was not that big but she was too injured to travel far, the force felt depleted within her and it caused her worry. She had never not been able to call upon it before._

_"The force flows through all living things," sh whispered to herself, "It must be because of all the death."_

_She hated to think that it actually had something to do with **her**._

_There was nothing she could have done differently, the mandalorians had been too many and her party too few, even with four jedi it had been too much, she wondered if the other jedi were still alive..._

_Tentatively, as if afraid it might slip away, she reached out with the force, searching for something, someone._

_Her heart dropped everytime she thought of Bao-Dur, she had not seen him in three days and could not sense him nearby._

_It had always been easy to find him before, he had the potential to become a jedi._

_Her mind touched on something, a faint heartbeat, she breathed deeply, it was dying.__ She ran, even her injured leg did not faze her, she had to find the source of the pain._

_It did not take long to find him, his apperance startled her, his face was covered in soot and blood which also trickled from his ears and nose.__ His face was swollen and the thing that made her cry..._

_He was missing an arm._

_She couldn't hold back the tears as she ran towards him, no longer aware of her pain but awash in his.__ She could feel his suffering as every nerve twitched and bled.__ She lifted his head onto her lap and her tears fell onto his face, he was struggling to breath and if she did not do something soon he would die._

_Suddenly the force surged within her, a wave she did not expect passed through the hand that stroked his face and into his body. He jolted and his body spasmed in her shock she automatically went to hold him down placing her body over his._

_Suddenly it stopped and she watched fascinated and filling with hope as his wounds healed.__ The swelling on his face went down and the cuts and grazes on his chest and arm disappeared, there was nothing she could do for the left._

_He was breathing normally again, he opened his eyes and attempted to sit up but she would not let him._

_"Ell?"_

_He was confused, all she could do was beam at him, without thinking she kissed him on the cheek, blood and sweat getting into her mouth, she didn't care, he was alive!_

_"Welcome back my friend."_

"Welcome back my friend."

The words brought her back to reality, she was still looking up at him slack jawed, Atton looked slightly concerned.

"Err, do you think she hit her head harder then we thought?"

"Speak for yourself flyboy," she grumbled standing up, "You call yourself a pilot?"

"Hey if it weren't for me you'd be a cube of flesh right now ok? so lay off!"

Ellsia scowled, as usual Caitlyn looked perfect, how the hell did she do that?

She could not bring herself to look at the Iridonian again so for a few seconds there was an awkward silence.

"So..." he began, "What brings you here General?"

Immediately the exile took charge again and explained everything.

_"Always the leader," _Ellsia thought wryly.

"Well you're going to need a new shuttle, I brought a few tools but there's no way i'll be able to save that."

He thought for a minute, "There's a Czerka research station around here somewhere, I have the codes to bypass the sheild network...we could always _borrow_ one of theirs..."

Caitlyn nodded, "Good Idea but I don't think all of us should go," she looked pointedly at Ellsia when she said this and the girl nodded.

"I will stay here, I think i'm a bit banged up to be fighting my way towards a ship at the moment."

Bao-Dur looked at her but she wouldn't meet his eyes, "I have to go, I have the codes."

"I'll go," Atton added, "I have a bit of a score to settle with some AD watchmen."

Kreia sat on the grass, "I shall stay here with the girl," she looked at Caitlyn, "If you need me you know how to reach me."

Caitlyn nodded, "It's settled then, lets move out."

She sounded everything like the General she used to be.

When they were gone Ellsia sighed and lay back on the grass looking up at the sky, she felt all the better for it was Telos and she had never seen her home like this. Against her will her thoughts turned towards the Iridonian, why was he here? She had not seen him in nearly five years and thoughts and emotions she thought long forgotten welled to the surface.

Seeing him here after all this time, remembering everything, his pain, his friendship...

_His love..._

Her thoughts jerked back to the present, why was the old woman being so quiet? Ellsia sat up and looked around, Kreia was sitting under a tree meditating. The young woman got up and went to join her sitting silently beside her up against the tree.

"That one is hard to read..." murmered the woman.

"Hmm?" She was only half paying attention, keeping a lookout for any sentry droids or patrols.

"The Iridonian, his mind is...difficult to read."

Ellsia looked at her, "Why would you want to do that?" she asked cautiously.

She could not see her eyes but knew they were open and watching her.

"A precaution, nothing more. I have done the same with you as you probably felt and with that arrogant whelp."

Ellsia nodded, she had felt the old woman in her mind and had not resisted, somehow she knew her secrets were safe, for the time being.

"You were right to leave him."

Ellsia looked away, "It was not my choice and the consequences of-"

"What's done is done, you are a part of this now, you will once again fight for the exile and so will he."

She lowered her voice, "Even if you wanted it, it could never be, you know it and he knows it too."

Ellsia gritted her teeth and got up, she had had enough of the conversation.

"I think i'll go see if I can salvage anything from the shuttle."


	6. Chapter 6 Regression

_They were found by a small party of scouts looking for survivors, Ellsia had collapsed with exhaustion and her head lay in the Iridonians lap. The surge of force that had passed through her had completely drained her, she had never had so much power in her body at once and it had been a struggle to keep her eyes open. The leader of their group looked at them both with alarm and concern, "Captain, get these two to the safe house, I'll need to contact the general and let her know we found more survivors."_

_She looked down on them and sighed, it was obvious they had been through alot and by the way they were holding one another they really cared about each other._

_Ellsia was not happy to be woken, she felt like her limbs were made of lead and she had a pounding headache, she looked over at Bao-Dur whose mouth was a grim line, he did not like the state he was in. She caught his eye and he nodded but the Bao-Dur she had spoken to not four days ago seemed to have disappeared, she shivered, what had she done?_

_It seemed to her in his stance and walk that he would have preferred if she'd let him die, was if for her own selfish reasons that she hadn't?_

_She felt so weak that her limbs were shaking and one of the officers put her arm around his shoulder to hold her up. He looked at her concerned and she knew she must look a fright. He kept up a running conversation the whole time they walked, he did not even wait for her to answer, she didn't think he expected her to._

_"I'm Jerosh by the way," he finally added and smiled._

_She smiled back, she was grateful that he had spoken to her, she had endured enough grim silence to last a lifetime._

_"Captain Ellsia Trilaut."_

_"Well Captain, don't you worry, we'll be back at the safehouse within half an hour, I reckon you'll need a good rest."_

_"Thank you Jerosh, for keeping me company."_

_He saluted with his free hand and grinned at her, "Only doing my duty captain."_

_**duty...captain...**_

_The words echoed around in her head, it was her duty to protect others and keep them from harm, both as a jedi and a captain, yet if someone were to attack right now she would be helpless as a gizka._

_She looked over to Bao-Dur and wondered what he was thinking, her gaze slipped to the arm that was no longer there, just a stump where his shoulder was, tears formed behind her eyes and she looked away._

_What would happen now? it was as if a great chasm had opened up between them and she could not reach out to him._

_"We are here Captain," came Jerosh's voice, breaking through her thoughts. They had arrived at a small camp and were ushered into healing tents, Ellsia knew it would be a while until she saw her friend again._

Sifting through the shuttle reckage had not produced much, almost everything had been crushed with the impact and she knew it was a miracle they had survived at all. She managed to recover a couple of medpacs and these she used on herself to ease the pain of her shoulder, she still would not use the force to heal herself. Dreams and memories shifted in her mind and she couldn't concentrate.

"Why now?" she asked herself, "Why after all this time do we come together?"

Something Kreia had said earlier popped into her mind, _"It does not matter where we go, the destination is not important, only the journey."_

She knew the force worked in mysterious ways and she had been through many journies in her life, the forced had shaped her destiny so far, maybe it was trying to tell her something?

A sound overhead and she saw a shuttle coming into view, she used the commlink that Caitlyn had given her earlier,

"General, is that you?"

"Yes Ellsia, we managed to find the shuttle and we are on our way to pick you two up."

_Finally_, she sighed, being on her own often caused her to think too much, the only problem now was that she would have ot face Bao-Dur again, and there was much left unsaid.

_"So much I wanted to say..."_

It was too late now, she must move on and do what she was brought here to do.

"Then I can leave and we'll all be happy again," she murmmered but her words were empty, never had she been truely happy anyway.

Except when she was with him.


	7. Chapter 7 Ramification

"Are we all here? Good, lets get going, i'd like to find T3 and the Ebon Hawk as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I have a few things to say to that bucket of bolts myself," muttered Atton as they launched and headed towards the polar region of the planet. Everyone headed their separate ways, there was alot of tension between the young jedi and the iridonian but it seemed neither of them wanted to be the first to talk. Caitlyn noticed this and approached Ellsia as she regarded the star map.

"Is there-" she hestiated, "Is there anything you need to talk about?"

Ellsia continued to look at the star map Caitlyn nodded and turned to leave.

"Did you ever meet Revan?"

Caitlyn wondered at this question, it was not what she had been expecting.

"Not personally, I corresponded with her once or twice but I never actually _met_ her."

Ellsia smiled and lowered her eyes,

"She was the reason I joined the war you know," her voice was barely a whisper and there was something in her eyes that the exile couldn't read, "She told me I was needed and so I went, I would have done _anything_ for her."

Her smile disappeared, "She was the reason I did alot of things..."

There was something behind those words but Caitlyn wisely left it alone.

"You were close?"

"Like sisters..."

Ellsia turned to the exile, her voice seemed calm but Caitlyn could see the inner struggle and turmoil behind those eyes, those very expressive eyes.

"I guess what i'm trying to say is that you're alot like Revan, she was a leader and so are you, she inspired loyalty in her followers and so do you. You remind me of her alot..."

She sighed and rubbed her eyes,

"I didn't come to Telos in hopes of adventure, I just wanted peace, but I see now that i'm supposed to follow you, to help you in whatever way I can and if Telos is saved in the meantime so be it."

Caitlyn was puzzled, "I don't understand what you mean."

Ellsia smied wryly, "Don't you think it's strange that two people you served with in the war just _happen _to be on the planet you just _happen _to be forced to land on? And now you need our help and we just _happen_ to be able to give it?"

"The force works in mysterious ways," Caitlyn said promptly and Ellsia smiled secretly.

The shuttle rocked, and the two ran into the cockpit,

"Are we being shot at, _again_!" cried Ellsia as they headed at breakneck speed towards the ground,

"Can't we go anywhere without someone trying to kill us?" Caitlyn muttered.

"Ok guys we're in for another rough landing, i've managed to steer us towards that small outcrop so we don't end up in an acid sea or something."

Ellsia was going to be ready this time and strapped herself into the seat next to Atton grimly holding on. It only took two minutes for them to crash land this time the shuttle skidding to a halt a few meters from the edge, everyone had been thrown from the ship.

"Is everyone ok?" asked Caitlyn as she stood,

"I can't feel my- oh wait there it goes.." groaned Atton.

Ellsia stood and noticed everyone was ok... except Bao-Dur. Her heart leapt to her mouth and she ran towards his still figure, memories flashed into her mind. The bionic arm that had replaced the one he lost flashed and fizzled.

"No not again!" she whispered as she kneeled over his unconscious body.

"Annoyed Statement: Finally we have found you, you have lead us on a merry chase jedi."

Ellsia looked up to see three droids holding blasters towards them.

"Didn't we already kill you scraps of slag?"

Asked Atton his own blaster levelled, Ellsia stood and approached them.

"You did this?" she asked pointing towards the shuttle.

"Amused Statement: Why the organic has a bit of fire in her, yes it was us. Query: what are you going to do about it?"

The young woman scowled and grabbed the vibroblade she had collected earlier, "Then prepare to become slag!"

"Weary Resignation: Very well, we were told to bring back the jedi alive, Excited Statement: But as our primary objective is assasination we are somewhat delighted."

The battle did not last long, four against three was somewhat of an advantage and Ellsia preferred to fight close up rather then with a blaster. She threw down the vibroblade and was about to approach Bao-Dur when three young women emerged from nowhere.

"Release your weapons and you will not be harmed."

Cailtyn raised her arms and dropped her blaster indicating that she meant no harm.

"Tell me i'm not going to jail again..." muttered Atton. Ellsia looked at them defiantly then turned and went to Bao-Dur, she knelt and lifted his head into her lap, memories engulfed her and she had to shake her head. He was out cold.

"Come with us," one of the women grabbed her by the arm but the girl shook her off, she frowned and looked at Ellsia.

"He will be attended to," she added, kinder this time. Ellsia looked up and saw that the woman was being genuine, she nodded and stood as two more women appeared and with surprising strength lifted Bao-Dur and carried him away.

Ellsia could not speak, her throat was burning and if she opened her mouth she knew she would break down.

_"I won't let this happen again!" _she promised herself, _"Whatever happens I will speak to him, it must be now."_

She could not bear the thought of losing him again, especially to death. Whatever happened now, the truth would come out.


	8. Chapter 8 Reconciliation

_With the help of the force and a few medpacs Ellsia was feeling better, she wasn't completely healed but it couldn't be helped at the moment, even with it running through her stronger then before it was still draining to call upon it. Jerosh had stayed with her and she found that she liked him, he kept her company while she recuperated._

_"So what is our situation?" she asked as they seemed steaming cups of Onderonian tea,_

_"Well there were substantial loses from the unexpected attack but we managed to beat them off, at the moment everyone is gathering together. Revan wants us to head for a far off planet call Malachor V."_

_"Revan..." The young jedi missed her friend and mentor, it seemed like years since she had seen her. Suddenly it jolted her that it **had** been years._

_**"Why did you abandon me to this Revan?" **she asked silently, **"I would do anything for you but I always thought we would be in this together..."**_

_Suddenly she began to sob uncontrollably, years of pain and suffering pouring out as it never had before, Jerosh seemed alarmed that such a strong and composed jedi was breaking down._

_"What's wrong?" he asked as she put her face in her hands, she looked at him, the tears making her eyes stand out strangely._

_"I **am **a jedi, I should be out protecting people, yet here I am unable to protect even myself." She wiped her eyes though it didn't stop the tears, "I am still only a woman, a human, I cannot cut it all off, I am not worthy of being a jedi!" she whispered fiercely._

_The young soldier took her hands and looked at her earnestly, "Anyone else would never have lasted this long, I have only known you a short time yet I see your strength and willingness to help others." he smiled wryly, "I saw the iridonian you were with, if it weren't for you i'm sure he wouldn't be alive right now and i'm sure the other people you've saved could say the same. You are a jedi it's true and it is your duty to help others, I believe you would not be here if you couldn't handle it."_

_He had echoed Revan's words almost to a tee, without thinking she put her arms around his neck and embraced him. He seemed surprised at first but slowly his arms went around her to. She closed her eyes, it had been a while since she had embraced anyone and she just wanted to feel the warmth of another body, to know she wasnt alone... but she found it was not this virtual stranger that she wanted it to be. She pulled back and did not look at him and within seconds he was kissing her, without thinking she responded, something in the back of her mind told her it was wrong, the code..._

_But this ecstasy, she had never before kissed anyone and found she quite liked it, her body was responding to his and the new feelings and sensations almost overwhelmed her. Jerosh turned away to remove his shirt and as he broke contact Ellsia opened her eyes, he was quite handsome it was true but he wasn't..._

_He leaned in to kiss he again and she stopped him shaking her head, he seemed confused._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"I cannot, it is against the jedi code."_

_"Who is going to know?" he asked slyly, she smiled slightly but shook her head._

_"I am sorry Jerosh but I can't, I-I don't love you."_

_He frowned and scrutinised her before nodding in resignation._

_"Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy."_

_Ellsia blushed, it was strange but when they were kissing it was not Jerosh she was thinking of. It was time to find Bao-Dur._

Ellsia was brought out of her meditation by Caitlyn's voice, she had returned. Atton, Kreia and herself as well as an unconscious Bao-Dur had been put it holding cells while the exile had been taken away, she was relieved she was ok. They were released from the holding cells and Ellsia approached the iridonian just as he was coming round.

"Sorry I wasn't much help General," he said sheepishly as he stood.

"Think nothing of it Bao-Dur, if it wasn't for you we would never have found the ship."

He nodded then noticed Ellsia standing next to him, his eyes questioned her but she only smiled.

"Everyone return to the ship, I need to find T3 before we leave."

"I say we leave him, we don't need him anyway," muttered Atton but Caitlyn still heard it,

"As I recall the navicomputer is voice locked so we do need him, only he can navigate for us."

He only glowered but followed her as she headed in search of the droid, Kreia was not far behind. Bao-Dur and Ellsia were left alone to find the ship. They began to walk, neither of them saying anything, both just glad to be in the others company. Bao-Dur's remote wizzed around their heads bleeping and beeping and the young woman remembered the droid fondly. They found the ship and Ellsia wasn't impressed, it didn't look like much was keeping it together, it had obviously seen many battles.

_As have we... _she thought and regarded her friend.

"I- missed you Bao-Dur, it _has_ been a while."

_nearly 5 years to be exact _added silently.

"I missed you too Ell, I never thought i'd see you again after-"

He didn't finish but looked at her closely as if searching for something, "You look the worse for wear."

She smiled shyly quite aware that she must look a state, her appearance had not bothered her before now. She had most definately not been looking after herself these last few years.

"Yes, well I haven't really had much time for myself lately..." she replied.

_Liar_

There was an awkward silence as neither could think of anything to say, the Iridonian was concerned and the woman flustered.

_"Why can't I say it?" _she asked herself as she looked at him, _"Why I can't I say that without him I made the wrong choices?"_

_That_ was an understatement.

Why couldn't she tell him that if it hadn't been for memories and thoughts of him she would not have kept going this long?

The hope that seeing him again one day had kept her going?

And now here he was and all the words unsaid were still left that way.

Without thinking she closed her eyes and stepped into his arms, clearly he had not been expecting this and had to move his left away to keep from shocking her. Her heart beat rapidly against his chest and she could feel his doing the same, this was enough that the words stay unsaid for now.

The others appeared just as she stepped out of the embrace, they smiled shyly at one another and boarded the ship.

"Where to?" asked Atton when they were all assembled.

Caitlyn looked at Ellsia, "I think we should go find the jedi masters on the holorecord in T3's memory, if we can gather them all together then maybe we can do something about the sith."

"Wait, let me get this straight," Atton looked at her, "You want to go find the jedi who cast you out and would have killed you if it hadn't been for their precious code to ask them for _help_?"

Caitlyn nodded, "Pretty much."

"Jedi," he muttered shaking his head.

"So what were the locations?" asked Ellsia.

"Dantooine, Narr Shadarr, Korriban and Onderon."

They looked at each other,

"Dantooine."

**Author note: yes this is a long one and i'm hoping to write more long ones so bare with me. I was listening to one of my favourite bands 'The Used' and one of their songs "Hard to Say" inspired most of this chapter, listen to it and you'll know what I mean. More chapters up soon!**


	9. Chapter 9 Restriction

_Ellsia entered the makeshift tent that Bao-Dur had been occupying for the past three days, he was sitting bent over a desk very intent on something. She moved around to the side a bit and noticed that it was an arm, a mechanical one that he was building himself. He strapped on his protective glasses and Ellsia looked away as a shower of sparks ignited the air, within seconds she heard a low buzzing sound and a light click. She opened her eyes to see the arm attached to her friends shoulder, he was moving it up and down and flexing his fingers, he seemed quite pleased with himself._

_"Not too bad, if I do say so myself," he said to the remote which clicked and buzzed happily._

_"It's amazing," breathed Ellsia and watched as he jumped, he had been so focused on his work he had not noticed her come in. __There was an awkward silence as they both looked at the arm, the static throwing shadows around the tent._

_"You did that yourself?" she asked trying to bridge the gap between them._

_"Yes, it's taken me three days of constant work but I haven't really had much else to occupy me."_

_"You're looking much better Bao-Dur," she added after another silence ensued._

_"So are you, as I recall the last time I saw you, you couldn't walk without the aid of that young soldier."_

_"Yes, he was kind enough to stay with me and keep me company."_

_Again silence, neither of them could draw their eyes away from the artifical arm and the reality it represented._

_"I'm sorry I didn't come and see you sooner..."_

_"I don't mind, I rather liked the time to myself, i've had alot to think about..."_

_He regarded her, a curious expression on his face, "Ell.." but he hesitated._

_Her heart leapt to her throat._

_"You don't regret that-I saved you do you?" she asked, half afraid of the answer._

_"No, never, it's just that-" he sighed, "I heard you, when you came to me. I heard your crying and I felt your tears, through all the pain that was what hurt me the most and I was so afraid that I would never see you again. Afraid i'd never get to say goodbye..."_

_His words touched her and made her feel that if she died at that very moment at least she would know she had a true friend._

_"Oh Bao-Dur, I was so scared I was going to lose you, I thought I had lost touch with the force but then when I saw you lying there like-"_

_**like you were dead**_

_She couldn't bring herself to say it,_

_"And when I touched you it just roared through me, like something inside was begging to be let out."_

_He smiled slightly still flexing the fingers experimentally, "I know, I felt it. I think it was me, calling to you, asking for help."_

_"I'd do anything for you Bao-Dur," she replied softly and he nodded, it was enough for now, they had both confessed more then they dared. Jerosh entered the tent and saluted her,_

_"Captain, you're wanted for a briefing, General Ackard has arrived."_

_"Thank you Jerosh I shall be right there."_

_The young man looked at them quizzically before he left, Ellsia turned back to the Zabrak._

_"Do you-remember anything?" she asked tentatively not wanting to be rude._

_He shook his head and frowned, "All I remember is laying a mine but something set it off before I could get far enough out of range, then you found me."_

_"Fair enough," She hesitated not wanting to leave him, it seemed they had closed the chasm but there was still something on his mind._

_"Bao-Dur, you can always talk to me, you know that right? you can tell me anything."_

_He had that funny look on his face again, a kind of half smile. He only nodded but it was enough._

Dantooine...

It had been the beginning as-

No, not now, not yet!

Her thoughts warred within her as they descended through the planets atmosphere, it had been nearly eleven years since she had set foot on the planets surface. She had never returned to confront the council as Caitlyn had, then again at that time... It was too painful and shameful to think about but something Kreia had said made her strong enough to mask her apprehension.

_Hiding from your fears does not make you stronger, confronting them does..._

But the thought did not comfort her and her face became more and more grim as they approached the surface.

"It has been a while..." murmered Caitlyn in her ear, causing her to jump, "Going on eleven years."

Ellsia nodded, her hands were fists and her nails dug into her palms.

"You coming?"

Again she nodded but said nothing, taking a deep breath she followed the others out of the ship, Bao-Dur and Kreia opting to stay behind. A young woman met them and explained that they should probably see the administrator. They were lead to Khoonda, a small military base that housed the administrator and many of the soldiers, they noticed that there was not much security and many of the soldiers lazed about.

"If this place was attacked none of them would stand a chance!" Ellsia muttered and Caitlyn seemed to agree.

Administrator Adare greeted them warmly, she seemed to know that Caitlyn was a Jedi.

"A mutual friend, let's call him Vrook, has gone missing."

She explained that he had gone to the old Jedi Conclave and had not returned.

Caitlyn reassured her that he would be found and returned, there were things she wanted to ask him about the holorecording.

"You're insane," Ellsia said as they headed automatically towards the Conclave,

"Of all the Jedi you choose to find first you choose _Vrook_! he is the biggest most pompous-"

She did not finish her raving as Caitlyn butt in,

"-Nonetheless, he _was _at my trial and therefore he would know what they were on about."

"And you think you're going to get answers from _him_?" The young girl snorted, "Did you ever have him for a teacher?" Caitlyn looked at her and she smiled impishly, "Heh, good luck, you think Kreia is cryptic? trying to understand what he says is like trying to understand Selkath laws."

Atton was suddenly overcome with a bout of violent coughing and Ellsia smiled slightly, she was glad _someone_ thought it was funny.

"I understand Ell, but he was there and he will know."

"Alright," sighed the younger woman "But don't say I didn't warn you."

As they got closer to the Compound Ellsia fell furthur and further back, she did not want to see the ruins of the place that had been her home for ten years, the ruins she helped to create... She shook her head and steeled herself catching up to Caitlyn and Atton as they rounded the corner to the compound, it was quite different to when she had last seen it, creeping vines covered the crumbling walls and the roof was missing. The exile was looking at it with as much sadness and regret as she was, she knew their expressions must mirror one another.

"Administrator Adare said he was last seen headed for the sublevels, so I suggest we look there first."

Ellsia nodded but still had to force herself to put one foot in front of the other, it was as if an invisible barrier was trying to keep her at bay, knowing what she had done... They entered the sublevels and were immediately set upon by a group of Laigreks, Ellsia hated the stupid things and without thinking used force push to keep them off her. The insect flew into the wall with such force that it's insides were turned to jelly and its body crushed to a pulp. Caitlyn and Atton stared at her mouths open.

She started to panic, her body was tingling, alive with the force.

"No!"

Caitlyn touched her arm, "It's ok Ell, you are allowed to use the force to protect yourself, you're a jedi remember?"

"No I'm not!"

She cried fiercely her voice echoing off the walls, Caitlyn recoiled as if she had been slapped.

"Look," she added, softer this time, "It's not that I don't want to use it to protect myself it's that-"

_"I don't want to use it to hurt anyone else!"_

But these words were left unsaid and the Exile did not force the issue.

She could feel the force growing within her now, pleading for her to use it, poking and jabbing at her subconscious until she thought she would ram her head into a wall just to make it stop. She wondered if Caitlyn felt the same way knowing that the exile had given up the force long ago, yet now she used it again, why? Surely it would drive her crazy after such a long time without using it? They approached the end of the sublevels without much more trouble and entered the old library-or what had _been_ the library.

They young woman closed her eyes and remembered, she remembered studying in this room with her Jedi companions, she remembered coming here in her leisure time just for a quick read... All that was gone now and in it's place stood a sad, empty room. Well, mostly empty.

A young man stood in the center of the room and bowed as they approached.

Caitlyn and Ellsia smiled, Atton only rolled his eyes and scowled.

He introduced himself as The Disciple and he was studying the Jedi.

Ellsia liked him, he seemed kind and he was definately alot smarter then Atton, the older man knew it too.

She also thought he was quite handsome and blushed when he bowed to her in turn.

"May I ask why you have come?"

"We are looking for-someone" she finished lamely, even though he seemed nice enough there was no way to tell if he was the enemy.

"Someone?" he asked an eyebrow raised, "A Jedi perhaps?"

"Perhaps," slotted in Caitlyn, "And if we were?"

He looked from Ellsia to Caitlyn and smiled, "Then I'd like to come along with you, it is my duty to the Republic."

"Now just wait a second buddy-" began Atton but one look from Caitlyn shut him up.

"If you can aid us in our search then we would be honoured to have you along."

"The honour is all mine," He smiled and looked at Ellsia who blushed again.

"Oh please," Snorted Atton.

It was then they noticed the bodies, mercenaries, and by the looks of it killed with a lightsaber.

The datapad by the bodies indicated that should they find any Jedi they were to head for the Kinrath Caves south of Khoonda.

"A little convienient don't you think?" asked Atton, "That we find this guy and _then_ we find the information we need?"

"Can't you give anyone the benefit of the doubt Atton?" asked Caitlyn slightly annoyed her green eyes frowning.

"Not when it comes to convienience."

"Nevertheless it is where we must go so let us do so."

**Author Note: Yeah, I know what your thinking 'but Disciple loves the exile' well ya gotta have a love triangle somewhere and Exile would kill me if I took Atton away from her. Don't worry, it's only to advance the storyline, you'll like it I promise! ;)**


	10. Chapter 10 Repercussion

The cave was not hard to find, it might have been five years before but war and nessecity had seen it blasted out of the rock and the entrance clearly shown. The two Jedi could feel the force strong within this cave, it made Ellsia shiver. They entered the caves and were not that bothered by the kinrath though that still had to fight a couple on the way through. They could hear voices and Caitlyn put her fingers to her lips indicating that they should activate their stealth generators. They snuck up to where the mercenaries were chatting and laughing, except one lone woman who seemed to be communicating on a comlink.

There was a shiver in the air as Caitlyn approached the captured Master Vrook and proceeded to talk to him, he did not seem all that surprised to be talking to thin air and by the look on his face Ellsia could see he was not happy.

"Wait, do you smell that?"

It was one of the mercenaries, "Haha," drawled his companion who seemed more interested in the datapad in front of him then the conversation.

"No seriously," the merc was standing now, sniffing the air,

"Smells like engine grease and...whisky?"

Although they had their generators on Ellsia could tell that both Disciple and Caitlyn were looking at Atton as well, she could practically feel the sheepish look on his face.

This got the other mercs attention and three or four of them stood, "Fan out, and find the source...I smell a rat!"

Ellsia stumbled backwards and narrowly missed being stepped on, she held her breath until the three of them passed.

Suddenly Caitlyn could be seen and she walked right up the the lone woman mercenary.

_"What the hell is she doing?"_

The woman jumped and then glared at her,

"I suggest you go back to your precious Khoonda or you'll be joining the old man we found sniffing around."

"I highly doubt that Master Vrook was sniffing around," Caitlyn snapped, Ellsia hit herself with her hand,

_"Dammit Caitlyn you'll get us captured!"_

If the woman heard her tugging through the force she chose to ignore it.

"A Jedi eh?" a smile spread over the mercenary's face, "Well that'll get us a better price from the exchange."

Caitlyn raised her hand calmly and looked at the woman, "You will release Master Vrook."

"I-What! that's a Jedi trick, men get her!"

Obviously this woman had been trained against force persuade, Ellsia sighed and stood up, turning off her generator.

"There are more of them! kill those three and take the Jedi!"

Ellsia could see that Disciple had been holding Atton back as they both turned off their stealth, Atton smacked the younger mans hand away and glared at him before joining the fight.

It didn't last long, Ellsia sighed, she was so sick of death, it seemed to follow her wherever she went.

"It makes you think..." muttered Atton as Caitlyn released the older Jedi,

"About what?"

"What they were drinking to make them think they could take on two Jedi..."

"I am _not _a jedi," murmered Ellsia but she was beginning to believe it less and less.

"Maybe because they captured Vrook so easily they thought it'd be a cinch this time too."

Ellsia smiled, "If you haven't figured it out by now Atton, Master Vrook _let_ them catch him, they didn't even know he was a Jedi until Caitlyn said anything."

Vrook looked at her a glint of recognition in his eye,

"That's right and now the attack on Khoonda will begin without delay, that was always the way with you act first ask questions when everyone's dead."

Caitlyn blushed, "I'm sorry, I thought I was trying to help..."

"I know you were trying to do the right thing but don't expect any thanks from me, if you _really_ want to help I suggest you find the administrator."

And with that he left them on their own, "Same old Vrook," sighed Ellsia.

They had just exited the cave when they were set upon by another band of mercenaries, they were out numbered three to one.

"So you're the Jedi i've been told about, it's always the pretty ones isn't it?"

"Your words mean nothing," Caitlyn said her face was calm but her eyes were turbulent.

"What about these ones? Join my cause, or die."

No one spoke and Caitlyn narrowed her eyes at him, the leader of the Mercenaries.

"Very well, but i'm sure we could have had lots of...fun."

"If you mean by fun, me breaking your nose, yeah I would have enjoyed that!"

It was out of Ellsia's mouth before she could stop herself, she could see Atton was impressed but Caitlyn was looking at her with an impatient look.

"You're not _helping_," she whispered.

"Kill them," He yawned and walked away.

"See what I mean?" asked Atton after they finished wiping out the mercs.

"About what?" asked Ellsia,

"About the whole drinking before taking on a Jedi thing cos I tell ya, drinking sure gives you courage."

She smiled impishly at him, "Yes, i'm sure you'd know."

He glared at her as they headed back to Khoonda to seek out the administrator.

They were ready, using the skills of both T3-M4 and Bao-Dur they managed to fortify Khoonda's defenses, fixing the broken med droid and reactivating the turrets. Caitlyn had contributed in her own way, rallying the spirits of the men and women around her, it was something she did as easily as breathing.

"Ell, Disciple, I'd like you to go back to the _Ebon Hawk _and man the turrets in case anyone gets too close."

Ellsia nodded and touched Caitlyn's arm,

"Be careful."

The Exile grinned and winked at her,

"Aren't I always?"

It was quite inspiring to watch her, doing this, being a leader, she was in her element and it was as if she was unstoppable.

The two of them hurried back to the _Ebon Hawk _but it seemed that their vigil was not needed, Atton, Bao-Dur and T3 were back within an hour spouting victory. Ellsia was kind of relieved to not have been there, she had, had enough killing for one day. Caitlyn returned two hours later having spent much of it with Vrook, she seemed distracted and went straight to see Kreia.

Ellsia was ready to go but it seemed that would not be for a while so she just wandered aimlessly around the ship, after about ten mintues she noticed Disciple watching her.

"What?"

He smiled slightly, "Oh nothing, I just find it intriguing that a Jedi is actually _bored_."

"Well if you haven't noticed there isn't exactly alot to do around here," she replied sarcastically.

"Why don't you try meditating? it centers oneself _and_ passes the time."

"Meditating? It's been a while."

"Come, join me, I try to treasure these moments."

She sat down beside him her legs crossed and breathed deep...

When she came out of it they were already in space and she was alone, she went to find someone and found that she was ravishingly hungry.

"How long was I meditating?" She asked herself aloud.

"It'd be going on 21 hours now," came a voice from behind her, Ellsia jumped and spun to face Bao-Dur.

"The General didn't want us to disturb you, she knew you had a lot on your mind."

She nodded and looked around,

"Where are we headed?"

"I'm not actually sure, I think Atton came in and told me at some point but I was so busy repairing the ship that I hardly noticed."

He looked at the ship around him, "Whoever did these repairs had only a basic knowledge of what they were doing, some of the work is quite interesting."

She watched him and smiled, it was in these moments that she had always loved to see him, in his element at work, repairing something or creating something else. He noticed her gaze and smiled that half smile again, the one she had seen so many times before but could not read.

"Can I ask you something?"

She nodded.

"Why don't you carry a lightsaber anymore?"

She flinched at that word as if he had struck her.

"I-am no longer worthy to carry the weapon of a Jedi," she replied softly.

"But you are," was his is the same soft tone, "You have the force, the power to help change things around you, your lightsaber is a symbol of that power and connection. It is who you are."

It was true, when she threw her lightsaber into that bottomless abyss she felt as if she had ripped out her heart and thrown that too.

"If I am worthy it will come back to me," and for the first time she honestly believed the words.

"That lightsaber is gone," he said shaking his head, "It was a symbol of the person you _were_ and you cannot get it back, but I could help you build another if you like. I have an idea of how they work."

"Oh, just an idea?" she asked raising an eyebrow,

"Well, I observed many jedi with their lightsabers but they never let me take them apart to get a better understanding, I know all the parts you will need though."

He looked at her closely,

"If it's what you want, I will help you Ell."

To tell the truth she had never thought of it before, building another lightsaber, but as she thought about it she warmed to the idea.

She nodded and smiled slightly.

"Yes, I think its time."

**Authors Note: Yay two long chapters, I'm hoping to add more real soon, I'm really getting into this!**


	11. Chapter 11 Reassurance

_The **Starphire** was a magnificent vessel, and Ellsia had command of it. They had arrived at Malachor two weeks before and she knew in her bones that the end was coming, it would soon be all over. The General had paid them a brief visit before everyone headed for the planet, to the girls dismay she had taken Bao-Dur with her, his skills were needed elsewhere. __Caitlyn had been quite impressed at the Zabrak's arm and had changed her plans so he could join her. Ellsia did not want him to leave her after they had spent so little time together but held her tongue._

_They had one last goodbye before he left, she did not know when she would see him next._

"_I guess this is it," she sighed and forced a smile, she did not look at him._

"_But it isn't the end, we will see each other again."_

_He cupped her chin in his one good hand, forcing her to look at him, it was that look again. He wanted to say something but it seemed he couldn't find the words._

"_Take care of yourself," he said at last dropping his hand and nodding._

"_That's not what you were going to say," she replied a little disappointed, she wanted him so to say it so that she could say it to but she was too…_

**Afraid…**

_He smiled, "To be fair, you haven't really said what you want to say either."_

_She nodded at this, it was a fair assessment._

_A young man popped his head into the tent,_

"_Bao-Dur, the General is leaving now."_

_He nodded his acknowledgement and grabbed his gear, Ellsia hesitated and put her hand on his arm._

"_Be careful my friend, I will see you…after."_

_He grinned and then as an afterthought bent and hugged her, she was surprised but squeezed him back._

"_To remember you by."_

_Then he was gone and she was left alone to ponder thoughts and feelings._

_Revan came to her, Ellsia was so glad to see her that she flung her arms around the woman's neck. Revan smiled and hugged her back, they held on for a long time. Finally the older woman pulled away and took a look at the girl._

"_It has been a while my friend," she murmered._

"_I'll say," Ellsia replied, her arms on her hips, "Nearly five years Revan."_

"_I know," she nodded, "And I'm sorry, but there are more important things in the universe."_

_Ellsia understood this and it was why she had not begged the Iridonian to stay with her._

"_The reason I have come, other then to see you, is that I wanted to promote you in person and give you the warship **Starphire**. I'm so proud of you Ellsia."_

_Ellsia stared at her in shock,_

"_Congratulations, Major Trilaut."_

_Ellsia didn't know what to say, barely nineteen and already she had seen four years of war, been promoted to Captain **and** Major and now the warship!_

_Revan smiled, her blue eyes twinkling._

"_I'm going to take your stunned silence as a thank you." She sighed, "I'm afraid I haveto leave you now, the war won't wait for us."_

_The young Jedi just nodded, she was imagining what Bao-Dur's reaction would be when she told him the news. She steeled herself and stood up, it was time._

_And now here she was, commanding a small fleet of fighters and her very own warship, she wondered what the General was doing right now, what Bao-Dur was doing…_

_She didn't have time to wonder long as they approached the warzone, all she could hope was that the two of them would be alright…_

Nar Shaddaar

The perfect place to lose yourself, Ellsia new that well. Atton seemed pleased to be back, his first thought was to head for the nearest Cantina. Caitlyn agreed, she may not have liked it but it would be one of the few places where they could glean information without seeming suspicious. Ellsia decided to go too, it had been a while since she had set foot on the planet but she new a few places where info might be given freely.

"You guys head for the Cantina, I have an old friend I need to see…"

Caitlyn nodded and Ellisa could see the _be careful_ look in her eyes, the girl smiled and reassured her that she would be fine, she then headed in the opposite direction.

"Do you mind if I join you?" asked a voice from behind her, Disciple walked quickly to catch up.

She looked at him critically,

"No offense but where I'm going…well you might not be accepted."

He smiled reading the hidden meaning behind her words.

"I shall accompany you as far as is permitted then wait for you, I'd feel better knowing where you are."

She looked at him skeptically.

"Fine, but when I tell you to wait that's where you have to stay."

"Of course."

They walked in companionable silence for a while, Ellsia felt as if she knew him a little better just by having meditated with him.

"You seem to know your way around," he smiled and she blushed, it was true that she had spent a lot of time on the moon…

"Well, one tends to learn things when necessity arises," they had reached a small seedy apartment building and she stopped him.

"You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Wait here."

Without waiting for a reply she headed into the building and straight up to the fourth floor knocking on the room numbered 43.

A muffled growl came from inside then the door inched open a crack.

"Who is it?" hissed the Weequay guard, Ellsia smirked.

"Tell Romin, an old friend has arrived and I have some news he might be interested in…."


	12. Chapter 12 Rebellion

The human bounty hunter Romin was surrounded by three guards, he watched the woman as she entered the room and sat in front of him her eyes glinting.

"I must say Ais, I'm a bit surprised to see you, it's been a while."

Aislle looked at him and smiled, "It's just business Romin, a mutual benefit to us both."

He nodded and two of the guards stepped away, the woman watched them leave, and Romin regarded her. He'd always thought she'd been a tough nut to crack but knew that her eyes showed everything and there was something she wasn't telling him.

"So what brings you back to my lovely abode?" he asked stretching out and accepting the food that a young twi'lek girl offered him. Aislle watched this display an eyebrow raised.

"What's wrong Romin, can't feed yourself nowdays?"

He did not even flinch he was used to her snide remarks and knew she was only stalling for time, calculating whether she should give up her information or not. He just raised an eyebrow questioningly and smiled.

"I hear there is a bounty out on Jedi," she said, a twinkle in her eye and he nodded wondering where this was going.

"I also hear there is one on this planet right now."

"And if there is?"

"I want in on the deal, I want to see that sniveling quarren that Goto has working for him seeing as he won't show himself."

Romin laughed,

"What makes you think that I can get you an audience?"

She leant forward and smiled conspiritorially.

"Because I have a Jedi…"

She left the apartment with an arranged meeting to see the Exchange boss' lackey. The mask of the person she once had become slipped away and she was once again Ellsia.

"That didn't take long," said Disciple as they headed back to the _Hawk._

"Well the meeting went better then I expected, I have news that I think Caitlyn might want to hear, we should get back and wait for them at the ship."

As they arrived so did Atton and the Exile, he was arguing furiously while she looked calm if a little annoyed.

"What's going on?"

"Oh nothing, except the fact that our wonderful leader here just agreed to dance for that fat slimy slug Vogga."

Instead of being disapproving Ellsia laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Caitlyn now showing her annoyance.

"_You, dance?_"

"What's your point?" she asked a little huffily.

"Look no offence General but you are a bit-uptight, do you know what you'll have to wear?"

Caitlyn blushed furiously and showed her the garment, Ellsia nodded,

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

She grabbed the woman by the arm and dragged her into the ship, heading for the rooms.

She eyed her critically and watched as the woman put it on.

She almost laughed again when she saw how uncomfortable she looked in it, she tried crossing her arms and hiding the enormous amount of flesh that was showing.

"First, don't do that, if your not confident in yourself then it'll be spotted straight away and you won't even get in. Stand straight with your head high, let it all hang out."

Caitlyn blushed again, "I feel ridiculous," she murmered and Ellsia rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you got yourself into this I'll just try to help you the best I can."

A thought then occurred to her, "Can you dance?"

"Of course!"

"Show me."

After a few steps Ellsia stopped her, fighting to keep the smile from her face.

"Ok, I'll try to say this as nicely as possible…You have the grace of a Bantha giving birth."

Caitlyn was not happy.

"Seriously, in battle it comes naturally to you but your too self conscious…think of a fighting style and try it, without the weapon of course."

The Exile closed her eyes and performed a quick Echani style attack, Ellsia nodded.

"Good, but try to slow it down a bit."

After about a half an hour Ellsia was satisfied Caitlyn was ready, the woman looked at her suspiciously.

"What?"

"How is it that you know so much about-this type of dancing?"

Ellsia grinned wickedly,

"That's for me to know and you never to find out, now go."

They walked out of the room and Atton's jaw practically hit the ground, Caitlyn blushed again but held her head high.

"You guys go ahead," she said as Atton, Caitlyn and Disciple headed for the docks, "I have a few more inquiries to make then I'll meet you back here."

Caitlyn nodded and Ellsia headed towards the droid manufacturer.

When she arrived back at the _Hawk _an hour later she found Caitlyn dressed in her normal robes and Atton watching her with a glint in his eye.

"How did it go?"

Caitlyn smiled and explained everything, "And if we stop Goto Vogga said he'd supply Telos with the fuel it needs."

Ellsia nodded, "Good because I have a plan and a way of reaching Goto."

After telling her story the Exile frowned, "Did you have to tell him you had a Jedi with you?" she asked.

"Of course, there's no way I would have been able to see him if I didn't have proof, they'll be having me watched so I had to give them the slip. Besides, this way it saves us a lot of unnecessary ground work."

Bao-Dur was frowning, "I don't like it, it's too dangerous for you to go alone."

She touched his arm and he looked at her, "I must, if they suspect then I definitely _will_ be in danger. I will need something though, a communications device so that you guys can hear me but not something as obvious as a comlink."

The Iridonian perked up at the idea, "I'm sure I could come up with something, give me an hour, two at tops."

He quickly headed back into the ship to see what he could find to create or modify.

"Bao-Dur is right, it _is_ quite dangerous."

Disciple continued her friends arguement.

"You are right," she nodded and smiled wickedly, "But I have thing on my side that they don't."

"And what is that?"

"The Force."

**Authors note: Ooh, some of Ellsia's dark past is being revealed, btw Aislle is just Ellsia spelt backwards, she changed it for her new life.**

**Next up: Ellsia is reunited with another old friend and we finally get to see what happened at Malachor!**


	13. Chapter 13 Revelations II

Ellsia entered the back rooms of the Jek Jek Tarr and removed her rebreather mask. Even though she did not need to be on her guard she was suspicious of everyone in the room, especially the Quarren.

"Ah welcome I am-"

She cut him short, "I know who you are, just cut to the chase."

"Very well, straight to business. I am told you want to see Goto? That you have a _Jeedi_ with you?"

She nodded and looked at him warily.

"Yes that's right, she is safe at the moment, no one sees her until I see Goto."

The quarren held up a hand, "First, I need proof that you _have_ a _Jeedi, _Goto will not see just _anyone_, he has never even stood in the presence of myself."

She could tell this irked him a bit and that he was slightly annoyed.

"Very well," She removed from her street jacket the lightsaber that she had assembled for herself, all the parts where there, except the crystal.

He nodded and glanced behind him where two guards moved to block the door, Ellsia did not like the look of this.

"A nice toy you have there human, but how do I know this lightsaber belongs to a _Jeedi _that you claim to have with you? How do I know it does not belong to _you?_"

"To me? I am no Jedi quarren, I am a Bounty Hunter and I want my reward."

She acted as though his words had not affected her but her palms began to sweat and her eyes darted towards the exit.

"Come now Aislle, or should I call you _Ellsia?"_

The girl gulped but remained calm, it seemed he wanted her to take the bait.

"Oh yes, I know who you are, do you think I would let you see me without having done my research?"

A door slid open behind her and she turned to see a familiar face, though one changed.

"Jerosh!"

He smiled and waved slightly, "Hey Major."

Her breath stuck in her throat and she glared at him.

"Why?"

He held up his hands in mock surrender, "You aren't the only one who changed occupations after the war doll, you're the bounty and I'm the hunter it's as simple as that."

This was not going the way she had planned it,

"Fine have it your way."

A force wave threw them all against the wall she turned about and ran but two Ubese were blocking the exit.

"Just great," she said through gritted teeth then into her com she whispered to the others, "Don't come after me, I'll be fine, keep Caitlyn safe!"

Lightning emanated from her fingertips forcing the Ubese back.

"Hey Major, catch!"

she spun and instinctively grabbed for the small round object being thrown at her, a stun grenade.

The light blinded her and spotted her vision, there was a sudden sharp pain to the back of her head and she knew that she had been hit.

The Weequay that did it dropped to the ground in pain as she force screamed at him, but before she could get up another blow got her and she fell forward dizzy and sick, she could feel the blood trickling from her nose.

She murmered incoherently before finally blacking out.

_The **Starphire** was torn but still in working order._

"_All we need is the guns!" she shouted and the troops headed for the warships turrets._

_A scowl crossed her face, it had been three weeks of constant fighting and she could see no sign of the Mandalorians letting up._

"_So much for the final frontier," she muttered to herself as the ship took yet another blast._

"_Get those guns working now! Fire straight into the fray!"_

"_But Major, we will hit our men!"_

_The look on her face changed his mind and without waiting for a reply he gave the order._

_She was not happy about it but the Mandalorians outnumbered them 5 to one and there was more a chance of hitting **them** then one of their own._

"_Major, there's a message for you, some tech named Bao-Dur."_

_At the name she raced towards the bridge bringing up the holovid._

"_Ell, I don't have much time so I'll try to be quick, The General has asked me to build something that should get rid of the Mandalorians, the only thing is that it will wipe out everyone else too. As you receive this the Generator will be firing up, you have approximately 45 minutes to meet the General and I at the point I have indicated on your nav-screen…"_

_His image hesitated for a second and he looked as if he wanted to say something else but instead added, "If you don't make it, run like hell, get out of the atmosphere as soon as you can."_

_The holovid disappeared and she stood staring atthe empty airfor several more seconds before she finally barker her orders,_

"_Well? What are you waiting for! Get us to that location!"_

_They arrived at the Generator with ten minutes to spare, the relief on the tech's face was enough to make her heart jump._

_The General stood beside him, she looked both impatient and anxious._

"_Good you're here," she sighed relieved, "I was afraid I'd never get Bao-Dur to come with me."_

_Ellsia looked at him but he was too busy fiddling with knobs and switches to notice._

"_General, all is ready…" He looked at her ready for the order._

_She hesitated for a minute, looking around her at the dead jedi and republic soldiers, and the ones who would never make it off the planet alive._

_She nodded, "Let's go."_

_The three of them headed for the **Starphire **It seemed it was in better condition then Caitlyn's own ship and would get them out of range of the planet faster. __They quickly boarded and were followed by most of the soldiers from Caitlyn's own company. __Five minutes into the air four Mandalorian fighterships attacked them, trying to draw them back to the surface, the ship could not take much more damage._

"_Now Bao-Dur!" cried the General and the Iridonian flipped the switch. They watched the planet and saw that a wave rocked it's entire surface, a wave of sound that crushed every living thing, yet the planet remained._

"_Get ready everyone!"_

_They were thrown to their knees as the waves reached them and knocked the ship about, the fighterships were completely destroyed._

_The power went out and Ellsia scramble around in the dark for something to hold onto..._

_Ahand, and a faint buzzing sound._

_They held tightly to each other as wave upon wave battered the ship, and even though it was dark Ellsia had her eyes closed._

_This was it, the end, yet there was so much to say._

"_I love you," she whispered._

"_I know."_

_His lips touched her cheek and she placed her hand on his, tracing his face, memorizing it._

_Suddenly the alarms stopped ringing and the emergency lights came on, she opened her eyes to see the bridge filtered in blue, and Jerosh staring at them._

_Bao-Dur's eyes were closed but he was smiling._

"_We made it," he whispered relieved._

"_Yes," she whispered back, "We did."_

**Authors Note: I know, sappy, but it didn't turn out the way they wanted did it? After all I had to leave you on a high with a long chapter to accompany it because I don't know when the next one will be up, fingers crossed it will be two days, three at tops. Don't forget to let me know what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14 Rascality

She didn't know how long she had been conscious before she realised it, her head was throbbing and she couldn't feel her hands. She snapped awake as she realised she was bound and gagged, tied to a chair. She was not alone either, an old friend sat watching her from avross the room, she glared at him.

"I wondered when you'd wake," he smiled and approached her, placing a chair in front of her and sitting on it.

Jerosh had not changed much since she had seen him, he was still quite a good looking man, the only difference was a few extra lines in his face, and a scar that ran from his left eyebrow to his ear.

He watched her as she took in his appearance and he smiled,

"Yes it's been a while hasn't it,"

He lifted a lock of her long dark hair and played with it, as if it was a fascination to him,

"Though you've changed you seem to have grown more beautiful."

She moved her head so that the hair slipped out of his hand and he seemed to remember where he was.

Ellsia took a quick survey of the room, it was small and the only way out was block by a containment shield, she could not use the force because her hands were tied and her mouth covered. She wished that she had used it more over the years, it was too faint to help her now, not in this situation.

"I'm going to ungag you now and you have to promise you won't scream at me," he smiled, remembering the Weequay guard, "It wouldn't help you much anyway, no one can help you at the moment."

She nodded her resignation and he removed the tape from her mouth, she could breath easy again.

"What happened to you Jerosh?"

"I'd say the same to you Major, I remember how you were."

He stood up and circled her chair, coming to stand right behind her.

"And look at you now, the end result of years of hardship. It's funny, you would never be able to tell you were once a sith."

She flinched and even though he was not facing her she could feel his smile,

"Oh yes Ellsia, or Aislle if you prefer-that _is_ your sith name is it not?"

Her face hardened, "You should not speak of things you know nothing about," the words were barely audible through clenched teeth.

"That's where you're mistaken," he came around to face her again, a strange smile on his face.

"I know all about you, everything you've done, everyone one you've met. Right up until three days ago i've been following you, you seem to know Nar Shaddar pretty well and I lost you but your _friends_ aren't so subtle."

Her heart jolted, "If you've hurt them i'll-"

"You'll what?" he laughed, "Scream me to death?"

He stopped and smiled watching her reactions, her put a hand on her face and traced the outline of her mouth, she shuddered at his touch.

"Such beautiful lips," he whispered, "I remember you know, what it was like to kiss you. You were very insistent you know."

She looked away, she remembered too, "That was a mistake."

"No!"

She jumped at his sudden outburst, the look in his eyes was frightening and the snarl on his face even more so.

"What was a _mistake_, was letting that _alien_ live, I should have finished him off when I had the chance."

Ellsia was confused, "What are you talking about?"

"Your friend, the tech, you should remember him, you're travelling with him now aren't you?"

"Bao-Dur? but I-"

"Don't understand? you wouldn't would you? I _loved_ you."

Ellsia shook her head, this was getting out of hand, the look he was giving her told her he was crazy and she was in serious danger.

"Jerosh be reasonable-"

"Ha, reason? That coming from someone who fell in love with an _him_! What would you know of reason!"

"I'm sorry Jerosh,"

He watched her and she sighed, "They will come for me, my friends."

"They already have," his voice was teasing her now, "No rescue for you, you're Jedi friend has already been captured by Goto, you were just bait!"

An explosion, the impact of it made her chair fall backwards, she was able to loop her arms up and over the back of it but they were still tied behind her. She could see smoke rising from under the door and for the first time realised they were on a ship.

"Where are we?"

But the man didn't answer he had a blaster rifle pointed at her, "Neither of us are leaving here alive!" he snarled and fired. Desperately she dodged out of the way and tried not to hit the shield blocking her only exit.

An alarm went off and her heart leapt, they had found a way!

Frantically she dodged the man's shots and tried to free her hands at the same time, suddenly the force shield was down and she fell sideways out the door.

"Ellsia!"

Bao-Dur and Disciple were racing towards her, she fell into the wall as yet another hail of shots came towards her, one grazed her cheek and she could feel the burning pain as she hurried towards her friends.

Jerosh let out an inhuman yowl and lunged for her, her yelp was cut short as her landed on top of her causing her arms to be stuck behind her back. Seconds later he was being pulled off her by the strong arms of her rescuers, Bao-Dur held him while The Disciple cut her bonds. She flexed her fingers and looked at the insane man who was still trying to attack her.

"Let him go,"

He was released, her hand moved in one swift movement and he landed with a heavy thud against the wall, he was knocked out but not dead. She could not bring herself to do it, instead she turned and ran, her friends close behind.

"Where is Caitlyn?"

"This way!"

Disciple led the way as they headed for an audience chamber in what seemed like the middle of the ship.

"How did you find us?" she asked as Bao-Dur sliced the computer panel, "Long story, no time for it now."

As the doors opened Atton joined them, he nodded towards Ellsia but was the first through the doors.

Caitlyn was standing facing them, her arms folded.

"It's about time."

Attom just looked at her exasperated, suddenly the ship rocked and Ellsia groaned,

"Can't we ever find a ship that _isn't_ being shot at?"

"What's happening?" asked Caitlyn, "I thought Goto's ship was cloaked?"

"It _was_," replied Atton, "I kinda turned off the primary power supply so-"

"So every bounty hunter in Nar Shaddar will now be firing at or boarding this ship," Ellsia finished for him.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Well let's get going then, I for one don't want to go down with the ship."

They headed back towards the _Hawk_ but discovered the ship was already in an upheaval, two Twi'lek females were waiting for them and Atton groaned.

"Friends of yours?"

"Next time you should aim to kill," said one, the other smiled "Except there won't be a next time."

Caitlyn had had enough,

She looked at Ellsia who nodded and they both used Force Wave causing the Twi'lek to bounce off the walls, the battle that ensued caused a lot of angst as the explosions got more frequent. Finally the Twi'lek twins lay dead, though they had put up a mighty fight.

They reached the ship and boarded as Goto's yacht started to explode, they were not noticed slipping away and headed into hyperspace.

Ellsia sighed with relief and finally allowed herself to relax, then the pain hit her.

"Where to now?" asked Atton.

"Where is left?"

"Korriban or Onderon."

Ellsia shivered, they were both places she never wished to see again but knew could not be avoided.

"Lead on General," she said.

**Authors Note: I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews and i'll try and find a beta tester to help me out just so it's easy for you to read. I only really put it up for a friend who loves Bao-Dur but if it helps everyone else.**

**In response to Prisoner 24601 thank you for the constructive critisism, I am going to write another chapter as a test to see if you like (and everyone else) like it, I will try to build up the characterisation. Also I created Ellsia because I _didn't _want her to be the Exile, I wanted her to be outside the group. Thanks again everyone, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon andI hope this one doesn't disappoint to much.**

**(PS: Soz it took so long guys, I thought i posted it but I got off the net before I did ;P)**


	15. Chapter 15 Reflection

Caitlyn Ackard sat with her back to the door She appeared to be meditating but that was not what she was doing. She had felt Ellsia's pain and shock as she was betrayed and could almost read her thoughts before the link had disappeared.

An echo had assaulted her mind, words of warning that had not been heeded...

She shook her headWhat was she supposed to do? Leave the girl for dead?Or worse a slave?

Until now she knew that the young Jedihad been fighting the force, desperately trying to forget it

_"As I did..."_

Maybe that was why she had let her come along, because Ellsia reminded her of herself and she did not want the pain that she had gone through when she gave up the force to be repeated. She sighed and gathered her thoughts They had returned to Nar Shaddaa briefly to converse with Vogga and tell him Goto would no longer be a problem. He had agreed to ship fuel to Telos and Caitlyn had seen the relief on Ellsia's face, but why was she still here?

And was there some hidden meaning in Zez-Kai Ell'swords? The master seemed to think she had wanted to kill him, all she wanted was answers. It seemed that what Kreia had said was true, thather small group had now become an entourage as yet another person had joined them, Mira.

The huntress was confused and angry The Exile could sense it but there was something else as well She was Force Sensitive this young woman.

It was as if she, Caitlyn, was a light and she drew those who were Force Sensitive towards her as one woulddraw moths. She did not know why and knew that only the Masters would have the answers, though they had been uncooperative so far.

And what did she really know about the people who traveledwith her?

She thought of them one by one and her heart did not feel anything but kinship and respect for them.

_Atton..._

He was a pain for sure but he was also kind and he respected herShe had seen the way he looked at her and her heart skipped a beat when she thought of those eyes, that smile...

She shook her head**. No**, she would not be distracted, yet she knew what was in her heart and it irked her. He had been the first through the door on Goto's yacht and was ready by her side wherever they went...

_Kreia..._

She did not know much of the old woman other then the fact that she was once a Jedi Master Caitlyn could sense that there was much to say between them but would remain unspoken until the right questions were asked. She did not trust Kreia, not entirely but she did respect her and she knew that she would never do anything to hurt Caitlyn as it would put her own life in jeopardy too But this was not the only reason.

_Disciple..._

She liked him and knew he would bring no harm, though it made her laugh how much he sounded like one of the old mastersIt was as if an old man were stuck in the body of a young one. He seemed to be watching Ellsia a lot, as if waiting for some sign of recognition or acknowledgement They had studied at the same academy after all. He would make a great Master one day, once Caitlyn convinced him to let her teach him.

_Mira..._

Caitlyn's heart ached for the young woman, to have lost so much so young is a great burden**. S**he herself had never been through such pain and could never imagine what it was like to lose your whole family. Though she had been hunted for years by that homicidal Wookie**e** she seemed strong and capableCaitlynhoped she could convince her to become a Jedi**--**she would be in need of such strength and capability soon enough...

_Bao-Dur..._

_My old friend..._

There was no one she would rather be travelling with He was a strong, kind and generous person and whatever the words came out of his mouth they always made her feel better. He had seemed somewhat distracted of late and she could feel the tension that was between he and Ellsia There was something there and neither one wanted to be the first to admit it.

As she thought of the girl her mind reached out...

_Ellsia..._

The young woman was wise beyond her years, intelligent and willful but denying both She had changed so much since their last encounter that it was no wonder Caitlyn had not recognised her in the **c**antina. The young, wily and spirited girl with the fiery eyes had been left behind and in her place was a morose, haunted young woman. But **t**he Exile still saw itThe fire was not diminished, only smoldering and as she had seen on the yacht, it could roar back into life at any moment. She just needed to confront her past, to heal and move onIt was the only way that she could forgive herself for whatever it was she had done.

Anyone can be redeemedRevan had proven that and Caitlyn would help her, willing or no.

Kreia's lesson in how to read the surface thoughts came in handy She focussed on Ellsia, drew herself into the girls mind.

_I will follow you General as I followed you before, as I followed Revan, yet if I find myself falling I know what must be done..._

Caitlyn jerked back, those thoughts were so full of fear and determination,

_What must be done..._

The words bounced around her head and they did not give hercomfort. Shehad a feeling that the young woman would do something drastic if she believed it was the right thing.

Caitlyn stood and stretched her legs, they were approaching Onderon and she needed to be alert, she had to make contact with KavarShe had to find out what was going on and end the Siththreat.

**Authors Note: Thanks to my Beta-Reader Trillian for helping me, man you don't know how many mistakes you make until someone else looks it over for you, hope you enjoy this experimental chapter and 16 will be up soon...**


	16. Chapter 16 Recuperation

She had reassembled her lightsaber.The** s**ingle blue blade glowed brightly and it comforted her. She wondered if she should change the colour.Blue was the sign of a Jedi Guardian and she was certainly not one of those anymore. She remembered the Exile's old blade, the one that Atris had taken from her**—**it had been silver like the rushing waters of the fountains in the Coruscant Academy. Now she carried a normal green blade, that of a Jedi Consular.

"What am I now?" she asked herself frowning, "I carry the weapon of the Jedi but am I yet fit to wield it?"

She had always been told that a lightsaber should reflect its wielderand she felt that having a blue blade was giving a false impression.

"Why the long face?"

It was the new girl, Mira, she leant up against the wall of the cargo hold where Ellsia had been thinking privately.

"Just reflecting."

The fire haired woman lifted an eyebrow, "Hmm, looked to me as if you were doubting yourself. Never seen that in a Jedi."

Ellsia smiled, "I'm not an ordinary Jedi."

At least she was no longer denying it, though it was a grudging acceptance.

"I was just thinking of changing the colour of my blade."

"Oh? Why is that?"

Ellsia tried to explain, "A lightsaber is an extension of oneself and therefore reflects who you are. I just don't feel right wielding a blue lightsaber. Its not who I am anymore."

Mira watched her closely, her fingers drumming against her folded arms.

"I tell you what, I'll make you a deal. You give me the goss on everyone and I'llgive you a lightsaber crystal."

Ellsia looked at her skeptically, "Why are you asking me? And where would you get a crystal?"

Mira winked and approached her, "I'm asking you because no one else is talking and I have something you want. It's a fair trade."

The young Jedi thought about it for a moment then nodded.

"What colour is the crystal?"

Mira put a hand into one of her pockets and brought it out, "It's not blue exactly.The colour is called Cyan I think."

Ellsia took the crystal and turned it over in her hands.It was true that it wasn't the proper blue but a lighter, brighter colour. The girl looked at Mira, "What do you want to know?"

She placed the crystal into the lightsaber and ignited the blade, the soft cyan glow filtered the cargo hold and she smiled faintly. It was a unique crystal.Itsuited her perfectly.

"Interesting colour."

Ellsia turned and saw disciple regarding her.She turned back to the blade and did a few attack moves, watching as the light made a pattern in the air.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She did not answer him but nodded and retracted the blade, hanging the lightsaber on her belt.

"What happened to your other lightsaber?"

She turned and looked at him, her eyes fiery, "I threw it over a cliff."

"But why?"

"Because I was no longer worthy or capable of carrying it."

He raised and eyebrow, "Who told you this?"

"I did not need to be told, I knew."

She went to walk past him and he took hold of her arm gently, forcing her to stop.

"What is it in your past that you fear? To doubt yourself?"

She glared at him and shook of his hold, "Who are you to ask me about my life, I do not seek your help."

"I give it freely-"

"Well I don't want it!" She cut him off and raised a hand as if in defence. "The past should be forgotten.There is no point in dwelling on things you cannot change."

He looked at her kindly. "But it is not forgotten is it?"

Something in his eyes and voice almost made her speak but as his face changed her eyes hardened.

"Yes."

She stalked away, as far away from anyone as she could go. She went to the bedroom on the other side of the ship and lay on one of the bunks…butsomething moved in the shadows.

A woman stood not three feet away from her.She yelped and was not quick enough in igniting her blade.Her fingers were nearly cut off and she felt the heat from the red lightsaber causing her to drop her own.

"Who are you?"

But the woman did not reply, she used the Force and slammed the Jedi against the wall, knocking the breath out of her. There was a voice behind her, "Ell what-?" then an intake of breath and the whooshing sound of another blade being drawn. The Sith woman caused a whirlwind in the room but Caitlyn was too quick for her.She ran towards the woman and knocked the woman to the ground causing her to drop her lightsaber.She was out cold. Caitlyn checked her pulse then turned to Ellsia.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll live, barely," she replied smiling painfully.The past couple of days had seen her knocked about quite a bit but her powers were still too weak to gather much effect from healing.

Caitlyn nodded, "I'll take her to the medbay, I didn't mean to hurt her, are you sure you'll be ok?"

"I'll be fine already," **t**he girl laughed. "I was taken by surprise, that's all."

The Exile smiled slightly and took the woman to Disciple.She was surprisingly strong for someone of her stature; even Ellsia was taller and she herself was not that tall.

Her fingers tingled slightly remembering the burn that almost happened.Her body was throbbing and if her muscles could talk, they'd be screaming at her. She sat down and faced the wall.It was time to do something about it.Time to tap into her connection with the Force.

**Authors Note: Sorry for the delay guys, I know its a short one but hopefully the next two chapters should be up in a couple of days. Enjoy.**


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